Apocalyptic Princess Claims Miss USA Crown

 BALTIMORE (Disassociated Press) April 28, 2006 – Future apocalyptic survivalist Tara Connor, of Russell Springs, Kentucky, was crowned Miss USA here earlier this week, in the traditional Miss USA pageant.  Among the celebrity judges was Donald Trump, Jr.

         A 20 year old business student, Miss Connor will go on  to be hunted down by the current Governor of California, who will be sent back in time by machines who rule the world in the future, to destroy Miss Connor’s unborn son, John.  Miss Connor will eventually destroy her predator from the future; however, her ability to save life on earth as we know it remains at this time ambiguous.

            When confronted with this scenario by a Disassociated Press interviewer, Miss Connor responded “Gee – now I'm going to have to re-think this whole ‘I just want world peace’ thing.”

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