Bush to Amass Troops at Border in Advance of Invasion of Mexico

 WASHINGTON (Disassociated Press) May 15, 2006 – During a segment of a televised speech last night which was broadcast only within the United States, President Bush disclosed to the nation that his intention to deploy U.S. military forces to the Mexican border was in preparation for an invasion of that country.

         “That part earlier, ‘bout the troops goin’ there to keep out illegal immigrants – that was just a decoy.  We’re gon’ fool ‘em, then catch ‘em off guard.”

         “I been doin’ a lot of readin’ lately, and know what?  Turns out, we already invaded Mexico before,” continued the President.  “Turns out, we won Texas from Mexico in the Battle for the Alamo.  That ended up bein’ a pretty good deal, far as oil goes, and I happen to know that first hand, for myself,” the President snickered.

         While not admitting that the invasion of Iraq may have been a mistake, the President stated “if this idea had occurred to me sooner, I mighta’ decided to do this first, ‘stead of Iraq.”

         The President then made a pledge to the 12 to 20 million undocumented Mexican nationals residing the United States.  “If ya’all help me to keep this on the ‘QT’ ‘til it goes down, I’ll see what I can do ‘bout that amnesty thing.”

         The President finished by saying, “If this deal works out good, I just might end up havin' some words or two for that Hugo Chavez.”

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