Congress Calls Emergency Session to Address 'On a Pig' Crisis
WASHINGTON (Disassociated Press) September 11, 2008 - On this, the anniversary of the attacks of September 11, 2001, the United States Congress has suspended all other activities to immediately address the fomenting crisis as to the proper construction of the idiom "' blank' on a pig."
The immediate crisis involving the longstanding argument as to whether it's 'lipstick on a pig;' 'a dress on a pig,' or 'earrings on a pig,' etc., was precipitated by a recent use of one of the forms of the phrase by Democratic Presidential Nominee Barack Obama which caused many to claim that Obama was calling Republican Vice-Presidential Nominee Sarah Palin a pig.
"We need to get to the bottom of this, to see whether or not Senator Obama was indeed calling Governer Palin a pig," stated Pennsylvania Senator Arlen Specter.
In demonstrations of solidarity with the United States, Russia has agreed to suspend the invasion of any former Soviet Union satellite until the U.S. crisis is resolved. Likewise, Iran will temporarily discontinue its nuclear weapons development program, and North Korean strong man Kim Jong Il has acquiesced to succumb to a life threatening medical condition.