Clemens Extends Major League Longevity Record

 NEW YORK (Disassociated Press) September 27, 2052 – 90 year old Roger Clemens extended his consecutive season record again yesterday, coming out of retirement to earn his 614th Major League victory, a 6-3 New York Yankee win over the Detroit Tigers.  With the victory, the Yankees clinched the Eastern Division Title of the American League, and assured that franchise’s 77th post season appearance, a big league record.

         The occasion marks the 68th consecutive season that Clemens has played in the Major Leagues, going back to his rookie season in 1984.  Near the beginning of the century, Clemens began the practice of signing with a Major League franchise, usually either the New York Yankees or the Houston Astros, after each season had gotten underway, and as the years have gone by, Clemens’s season debut would begin later and later into each season.  Since turning 70, Clemens has signed near the very end of each season, and has started and appeared in only one regular season game a year.  Clemens’s record during that time is 14 – 4; with five of those victories having clinched a post season appearance for Clemens’s team.

         Clemens, who earned a cool $187 million for his day’s work, and whose fastball still is clocked in the high 80’s (M.P.H), was upbeat after the game.  “I’m looking forward to the post season,” he stated. When asked about the prospects of him coming back in 2053, Clemens responded “we’re just going to think about the playoffs now, and worry about that when the time comes.”

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