Homeless ‘Apprentices’ Meet Mentor Trump
HOLLYWOOD (Disassociated Press) January 22, 2007 – It was an auspicious moment here in front of the world famous Chinese Theatre on Hollywood Boulevard last week, when two homeless entrepreneurs, Ted Minton and Bob Salmons, finally met their hero, Donald J. Trump, who was being honored with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
“We just wanted to thank him for everything he’s done for us,” explained Minton. “His inspiration turned our life around.”
Trump's much publicized trade marking of his catch line “you’re fired,” which he uses at the end of most every episode of the television show The Apprentice, gave Minton and Salmons the idea of trade marking the common phrases “spare some change?” and “clean your windows?” (see Homeless Following Trump's Lead, The Disassociated Press, March 28, 2004). Since that time, both men have made fortunes in royalties received from other panhandlers all over the United States who use those phrases in their solicitous endeavors.
“I tried to use paraphrases at first, but it was just hard to come up with anything that really communicated the meaning the way the actual phrases do,” explained Heck Grimes, a street person who gets by panhandling in Boston. “Finally, I decided it was better to bite the bullet, and pay the royalty.”
Minton and Salmon’s next gigantically successful business venture was the creation of United States flag rolling papers to be used for making marijuana cigarettes. The two came up with the idea for this last summer, when the most recent attempt to ban flag burning constitutionally failed to be passed by the United States Senate (see Enterprising Homeless Seize Opportunity on Senatorial Shortfall, The Disassociated Press, June 29, 2006). “Sales continue to remain hot,” quipped Salmons.
Trump had high praise for the two captains of industry. “They should be an inspiration for people everywhere who have dreams of making it big in business,” stated Trump. “We wanted to get them to compete on this year’s version of the show (The Apprentice L.A., which takes place in Minton’s and Salmons’s home town) but their plates were just too full.”
While spending less time in the streets, Minton and Salmons are still technically homeless, with neither maintaining a residential address. “We don’t want anything to take the edge away,” explained Minton.
When asked how the two would celebrate the occasion, Salmon’s stated “we’re going to go smoke a dube rolled in one of our flag rolling papers – and just before we light it up, we’re going to say to it ‘you’re fired!’”
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