Hollywood ‘Celebs’ Seek ‘Paparazzi Protection’
LOS ANGELES, CA (Disassociated Press) August 11, 2008 – While Los Angeles Police Chief William Bratton has recently ‘pooh-poohed’ a proposal in the Los City Council to establish an additional class of protection for Hollywood celebrities from picture popping paparazzi, a certain class of ‘celebrity’ is asking for protection from a specific class of picture poppers.
“Some of these foreign tourists, they come over here, and pose for photos with us, then don’t give us any tips,” complained Gil Hershey, who wears a Batman costume in front of the famous Chinese Theatre and poses for photos with tourists. Increasingly, the street characters on Hollywood Boulevard have become a local attraction and a new symbol of Hollywood.
The street characters are in the process of attempting to form their own union, and then petition the city council to establish an ordinance requiring a minimum $10 tip per photograph.
“Not all of them, but some of these Euro-trash, Asians and Middle Easterners are really cheap bastards,” reported Connie Hocking, who dresses up as Wonder Woman. “With the weakness of dollar, you’d think these jerks could pony up a little bit more.”
The weak dollar has sparked an increase in international travel to the United States, and Los Angeles and the legendary old theatre, where the hand prints and foot prints of generations of Hollywood stars are immortalized in the solid mortar of the theatre’s front patio, are primary destination points. Conversely, high fuel costs and a shaky economy have curtailed domestic travel.
“These foreigners don’t know as well as Americans that it’s customary to tip us, and that we’re not out here just for the fun of it,” stated Heck Grimes, who dresses up as Jason from Friday the 13th. “We’re only trying to establish for ourselves a certain amount of job security – just like everybody else.”