Man Trims Tree with Trash as ‘Time Management’ Measure

 MORBRYSBURGVILLE, MA (Disassociated Press) – December 23, 2005 – 37 year old Scott McAllister has come up with what he considers to be a novel concept in efficiency this holiday season.  It all started when his girlfriend, 36 year old Penelope Vandersmeer, gave Scott three chores:  1) Take out the trash, 2) take down the decorations for the Christmas tree from the closet, and 3) decorate the tree. 

         “I was already running behind – it’s the day before Christmas Eve, and I only just got the tree this morning – it just seemed like so much to do.  Then it occurred to me ‘hey – if I use the trash to decorate the tree, I’ll be able to save two steps.’”  The six foot Douglas Fir stands in the middle of their living room, adorned with, among other items of garbage, egg shells, used saran wrap, empty food boxes and empty food cans, including one empty tuna fish can on the top.

 Curiously, this is not the first time that Mr. McAllister and Ms. Vandersmeer have come to the attention of the national media.  Just over two years ago, the pair made headlines when Ms. Vandersmeer placed a service call to AAA after Mr. McAllister failed to open her car door on a date (see Woman Calls AAA When Date Fails to Open Her Car Door, The Disassociated Press, November 27, 2003), and last year, Mr. McAllister was in the news when he expressed dissatisfaction over an interview for a teaching position (see High School Teaching Candidate Unhappy with Interview, The Disassociated Press, April 22, 2004) .

 “What’s really great is that, when I take the tree down next February or March, I won’t have to worry about boxing the ornaments and putting them away – all the decorations will go right into the trash along with the tree."

 Ms. Vandersmeer has been unavailable for comment.

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