Obama Expands 'Superman' Mystique
SOMEWHERE IN MISSOURI (Disassociated Press) August 26, 2008 - The perception of presumptive Democratic Presidential Nominee Barack Obama's messianic and supernatural abilities continued to grow last night to observers at the Democratic National Convention in Denver and to millions of viewers across the nation and around the world.
The event that caused this was an appearance by Obama via closed circuit TV that was shown at the convention following a speech made by his wife, Michelle. In the appearance, Obama first claimed to be in Kansas City; moments later, he stated that he was in St. Louis, and a few seconds thereafter, he said that he was in Kansas City again.
"The two cities are separated by 250 miles," stated University of Colorado Professor of Geography and Astrophysics Bartholomew J. Sneed. "It would be impossible for a mere mortal to travel that distance and back in the time Obama apparently did - it would be several times faster than the speed of sound, and actually even approaching light speed."
When solicited for a response by the Disassociated Press, long time contributor Cardinal Roulette Bourgnian of France stated, "it's possible that this is something the church would examine as a potential miracle."