Pronunciation of ‘Goddameter’ Debated by Theologians
VATICAN CITY (Disassociated Press) – April 19, 2004 – The correct pronunciation of the celestial instrument the ‘Goddameter’ has become a burning issue here and around the world among Theologians of many different religions. Among believers, the Goddameter is the Heavenly instrument that chronicles, for the purposes of salvation, the frequency with which one uses the Lord’s name in vain while on earth. It is believed that every mortal soul is assigned its own holy Goddameter in Paradise.
”The burning issue is whether is the accent is on the ‘damn,’ and the ‘e’ in ‘meter’ is soft, such as when one says ‘thermometer,’ or whether the accent is on the first syllable of ‘meter,’ with an elongated ‘e,’ such as in ‘parking meter,’” explains Cardinal Roulette Bourgnian of France.
Another debate that has arisen over the Goddameter is its functional make-up. “For centuries, it has been believed that the Goddameter was mechanical,” Bourgnian stated. “Now, there is a growing contingency that believes the Goddameter is in fact electronic, with a digital face.”
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