Rehab Clinic Installs Revolving Door for Britney

 MALIBU (Disassociated Press) February 22, 2007 – The Promises Residential Treatment Center here in Malibu announced today that it would be installing a special revolving door to expedite the rapid comings and goings of pop music icon Britney Spears. 

        Over the course of the last few days, Ms. Spears has twice checked into rehab clinics, only to check out again within the next few hours.  The first time was late last week in Antigua; early this week, Ms. Spears did the same thing here at Promises.

            “We’re hoping Ms. Spears will continue to make Promises her rehab facility of choice for her one day treatment visits,” explained Penelope Vandersmeer, Promises Malibu Chief of Staff, “and we’re attempting to make it so that access and exit will be even easier for her in the future.”

        On a separate matter, a staffer for Ms. Spears’ publicist relayed that Ms. Spears would soon be accepting bids from media organizations to allow them to follow her comings and goings from rehab through the use of a GPS tracking device.  “It worked pretty well for those people up on that mountain, and we think it would work well for certain appreciative media organizations to keep Britney’s fans up to date on her rehabilitation status."

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