University of Michigan to Close after School Year
ANN ARBOR (Disassociated Press) September 6, 2007 – University of Michigan President Mary Sue Coleman announced today that the University would be ceasing operations and closing after this academic year. The announcement came in the wake of the school’s football loss last Saturday to Appalachian State, a loss which is considered by many to be the biggest sports upset of all time.
“In light of the embarrassment to the school, I have met with the regents, and we see no other alternative to closing the school permanently. Even if the team goes undefeated for the rest of the season, there is no way of overcoming from the devastation of last weekend’s loss.”
The decision was supported by Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm. “Not only do I support the decision to close the school, but I’m also considering approaching the state legislature on the prospects of closing the entire state.”
Granholm stated that she would be meeting with civic and business leaders, including top executives at Ford and General Motors, on the prospects of re-locating the state, possibly to Granholm’s native Canada, just to the north.
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